Finding a cohesive wedding theme that pleases two very picky people

Happy Steampunk/Psychedelic Victorian it is!

We both love Monty Python artwork, as well as, the Beatles take on all things old-timey when they produced Sgt. Pepper's. So we decided to make that the artistic theme for the wedding—Happy Steampunk meets Psychedelic Victorian.

It's hard to feel stuffy and solemn with a lot of bright colors and poofey 19th century fashions. Not to mention the large pointy hands-of-God, clocks, parasols, zepplins, top hats, goggles, and time machines.

We hope everyone gets into it and dresses for fun. 

Lyle wants a tailcoat and I want a bustle. He's going to be so dapper, and I am going to make lots of swishing sounds when I walk!

LOL!

:D

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What have we gotten ourselves into?

.

Man, I’m getting overwhelmed by this wedding stuff already. Delia’s right, I had no idea how much work or money goes into one of these deals.

At first we give ourselves a year. Inspired by our trip last year up to the Russian River, Delia comes up with a plan so rustic and idyllic. She instantly scopes out am amazing forested venue in Sonoma County for the wedding and is well on the way to arranging a ceremony in canoes on the river. Sounds great to me—I can really get behind a big camping trip. Couldn’t think of a better idea if I tried.

Then due to certain biological (certainly not economic) reasons, the time is cut in half and a reluctant expert gives me a crash course in making a wedding. She keeps reminding me that I have no idea what it takes. I just smile and try to keep up.

We decide that a celebration closer to home would be more practical. Before I can blink, Delia comes up with another brilliant idea of getting everyone on bicycles, having a ceremony over looking the ocean as the sun sets in the West. With a few phone calls she secures a historic local venue for the reception and we are on our way to an equally wonderful Plan B.

Thus began the most intense treasure hunt two partners can embark on. Places to go, things to do in a certain order: Shopping for fabric, fittings, venues, bike rentals, hotels, making the list (oy, the list!), getting the invitations out in time to get the RSVPs in time, catering, permits, insurance, cake, wine, beers, music etc. I’m so glad Delia knows what she’s doing. Even when she vetoes my vetoes—it’s for the best.

Yes, there is a baby pushing all this frantic activity from the spirit world (or so we’ve been told by an expert in such matters). Before baby though, Delia wants a marriage, and I want a big wedding so we can assemble nearly every one we love in one place and celebrate life. We decide we can have it all. I’ll get us health insurance through my corporate gig. We’ll have a grand wedding and take a four-week trip to India as our honeymoon. Then D will get preggers, graduate with her second graduate degree and, as soon as he’s ready, we manifest Baby Quetzalcoatl: the bringer of the age of transformation—who will catalyze a higher level of consciousness for humanity, banish the alien reptilian-hybrid scourge secretly living as humans among us, and teach us how to heal this awesome planetary being of which we are mere cells: our mother Gaia.

OK, wedding blog—check. What’s next?

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Lyle Wins

I told Lyle that we ought to have a simple little ceremony, then a fabulous honeymoon, and call it a day on wedding festivities.

Lyle's lower lip started to grow immediately.

He said he really wanted a wedding with a "big party, music and dancing." Lyle said he wanted to create a great excuse to get all his favorite people together in one place at one time.

Getting immediately seduced by his sparkly blue eyes and sucker-punched by his naughty coercive grin...how could I possibly say no?!

So I told Lyle I'd throw him the best wedding ever.

Lyle wins.




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Delia, estrogen, and the emotionally charged insistence on setting a wedding date

About two months after our official engagement on December 5th, I became restless. Verrrrry restless.

Lyle and I had agreed it was probably best to wait to have a wedding until after I had graduated from acupuncture college. After all, doing nursing work and being in grad school simultaneously is a pretty full plate.

But I became restless.

One night my Lyle came home from work in a pleasant and calm demeanor (Thank the gods!), because I became hell on wheels.

"We must set a wedding date! We must get married soon! I do not want to be a 40 year old bride (I'm currently 38) in a big wedding. And we must have a baby!" I stated vehemently with animated fervor.

"I...I thought you wanted to wait...until after graduation." Lyle stammered trying to regain his peaceful state.

"No. No, we must set a date. We must marry sooner! We must have a baby!" I insisted.

Lyle asked what had come over me, and I told him I was not sure. All I knew is we had to set a date.

Lyle paused for a moment, and then said, "Yes. Okay. Let's set a date. When?"

"This summer."

"This summer?!"

"Yes, this summer."

"Yes. Okay."

We both took a deep breath. 

The next day I got my period.

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The official "here's-the-ring-will-you-marry-me?" proposal

.

December 5th, 2008.

I had just worked a 12 at the hospital, and came home in quite the good mood. By lucky-happenstance that day, the workload had been light, and the patients pleasant.

Upon arrival home, I said my usually, "Hello, Lyle!" And gave a smile to my honey, who was busying himself in the kitchen. 

Lyle looked especially mellow and happy behind the stove. And as I took off my stethoscope and emptied my pockets of bandages and tape, he stood in the dining area with a chilled bottle of Spanish bubbly, and declared, "How 'bout some champagne tonight?"

I raised a brow. "What for?"

"To celebrate our togetherness!"

Lyle looked so...ebullient. Yes, he embodied that S.A.T. word to the hilt.

I sure didn't want to be the one to harsh his happy vibe, and his joy was so infectious. I said, "Sure, let me just get out of my scrubs and into my p.j.'s."

We sat down for an awesome vegetarian meal. Quinoa, spinach and collard greens (my fave). It was nothing hoity-toity, but it's just what I like after a day at the hospital. Light, green and simple.

Oh, yeah. And we popped the champagne.

Well, sippin' champagne with a light vegetarian meal soon turns to a giggly buzz, and I was all laughs. Everything Lyle did was crackin' me up. Not too unusual with my Lyle...just a lot more pronounced. 

Soon we were sitting on the couch, lights dimmed, listening to good music. Me asking questions. Lyle providing answers. 

Lyle is a veritable plethora of music and music history information. When it comes to music, he's my Encyclopedia Beers-tanica.

At one point, Lyle got up and said he had to get something. I continued to chill on the sofa with the Spanish fizzing drink and my happy thoughts.

Lyle returned to the living room, then stood over me, and held up a perfectly square box with a bow, and said, "I got you some chocolate."

"Some chocolate, eh?" I replied with a questioning look.

Then he opened it.

Now, try to recall the scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark when the ark is opened and all this magnificent glimmering light is emitted. That is exactly what happened next.

Literally.

The little square box contained a tiny (but powerful) LED light in the top lid, that brightly shone upon opening the box. And inside the box? A beautiful diamond engagement ring.

I laughed SO much!

Lyle was delighted. He would shut the box. Then open it again. I would roll around and laugh some more. Then beg him to "Do it again! Do it again!"

Finally I said, "Is there something you want to ask me?"

Lyle looked quizzical. "You want me to ask you?!"

I gave a frown and a pout. "Yes, I want you to ask me!"

He feigned a sigh. Then smiled, "Will you marry me, Delia?"

"Yes. Yes, I will, Lyle Beers."

We kissed a bunch. Snuggled some more. Finished the bubbly. Then snapped a few pics on my laptop to commemorate the occasion. 

Now let me speak plainly—I love—love, love my sparkly engagement ring—

—but I still love my Lyle Beers more! :D

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Life with Delia

.

This is a subject too large for this practice in co-self-obsession—um, I mean wedding blog. I doubt you have time enough, dear reader, to read how amazingly wonderfully complex and beautifully puzzling life with Delia can be—on a daily basis. She is a true superstar. She can and does it all: graphic design, web programming, oriental and occidental medicine, spiritual counseling, acting, writing in any form, amazing flower arrangements, cleaning spas and visionary painting. I love that she leaves nothing unfinished and packs every minute with the passionate zeal of a soldier sent out on a life-or-death mission. She demonstrates for the rest of us mere mortals how it is done—even if it means being late for nearly all engagements—which OK because we live in L.A.

I love that Delia stops to smell the roses and every single other flower she passes. Even more, she will tell you the name of the plant, the Chinese herb it produces, and quiz you later.

There is no resisting this beautiful, charming, mercurial force of nature. She has at least two personalities along for the ride. One is greatly serious about a surprising range of subjects and the other whimsically sees the wacky predicament we humans are in. Delia is more loving than the most affectionate pet you ever had. She is wiser than your average guru and twisted enough to get my humor or, at least, be pleasantly offended by it. I never paid much attention to stereotypes of actors but I do know this: the staggering amount of love and attention she requires is the best practice for having children I could ever have.

But all this is just the packaging. Inside, right below the surface, is a glowing being of love and light here to make the world a better place.

We share a love of food, art, nature and South Park. We’re damn good looking and in love. That’s all you really need to know.

•••••••••••

Life with Lyle

Life with Lyle is awesome.

Who knew it could be so much fun to live with someone?

Lyle's great at sharing. Sharing space, sharing chores, sharing meals. And sharing his opinion!

LOL!

Lyle has some pretty strong opinions and does not mind sharing them. Many of them I agree with, yet it was really something getting acclimated to all the "candid-ness." I'd mention something about food or the environment or music, and Lyle would start to orate with passion on the subject. After a while, I'd just start waving my hands in the air—calling out, "Preach it, Lyle! Preach it!" ;)

Lyle's good at cleaning the kitchen and keeping it neat. He prioritizes the kitchen a lot.

I'm better with the bathroom. Bathroom cleaning duties seem to just naturally get delegated to me.

We both agreed to no shoes in the house. So we set up a bench and shoe rack near the front door.

I have consumed the vast majority of closet and storage space. While poor Lyle gets one tiny closet and several cabinets in the kitchen. We laugh about this all the time. I need help getting rid of stuff from time to time. I accepted this about myself a looooong time ago. LOL!

I really like that Lyle likes to cook and will prepare meals with me. I also really like that he'll grocery shop with me. Lyle has pretty much forbidden frozen vegetables in the house. We are now only eating/cooking fresh veggies.

Lyle also really likes to bicycle. I tried to tell Lyle that L.A. is a "car town." But he insisted that after years of living in NYC and SF, he did not want to drive. So we agreed to share my vehicle for long distances and split the cost of insurance with Lyle mostly riding his bike everywhere and sometimes taking the bus.

I can usually ride my bike to acupuncture school and for local errands, so sharing one vehicle really seems to work for us.

One of the things I really love about Lyle is that he's cool with us not having a tv. I love tv and anyone who's known me for a while, knows that I love tv. Let's just put it this way: I love tv too much. It's best that a tv not be in the house where I'm concerned. So every now and then, I catch a show on Hulu, and we watch DVD's or download flicks from iTunes on the laptop and hook up the speakers. Lyle's a big fan of art books, and Santa Monica has one of the best libraries around. He'll often hang at the library and bring back these enormous coffee table books for us to sit on the couch are peruse for fun.

Lyle is also a creative/obsessive like me. He coined the term, however. I may stay up until 4am working on a Flash program or photographing Chinese herbs, but Lyle is just as nutty. In a good way, of course. Lyle is passionate about music and composing. About 8 months ago, Lyle finally got a new keyboard to replace the one he gave away in Brooklyn before the cross-country move. And it was like a 50 watt lightbulb got replaced by a 100 watt lightbulb. SO much enthusiasm! Once Lyle puts on his headphones and pulls up a chair to the keyboard, he pretty much goes in to a composing trance that may take anywhere from 10 to 12 to 14 hours to come out of. And that's just for the day. On weekends, he'll go the distance both days sometimes. Occasionally, he'll let me hear a piece he's working on, and ask for my thoughts. I don't know why. The last time I did anything musical was on the French Horn in 8th grade. Regardless, he wants to hear my thoughts. Actually, Lyle likes to get feedback from all his friends. We recently put up a music blog for him at LyleBeers.com, and his friends leave him comments that he often integrates into what he's working on at the time. I love the music he creates. It's so catchy and fun. He writes amazing melodies. 

Okay, time to wrap it up on the Lyle worship for now...

Here's the essential skinny on life with Lyle.

Lyle's a really caring person with a lot of heartfelt convictions. He's also got a great sense integrity and an awesome sense of humor. I love how he lives in the moment, and is open to life. It's an honor to get to live with Lyle Beers. 

Let's face it...clearly, I have amazing karma—I get to wrestle Lyle Beers on the couch or snuggle him in the hallway whenever I want. 

And have I mentioned his amazing (and I mean a-m-a-z-i-n-g) morning bedhead?



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